I am sort of celebrating an anniversary ….I am 1 year off of Anti-Depressants (Anti-Ds).
I was on Anti-Ds for a LONG time. Since my late teens I have been more on them, than I was off. I was once told that some people just have a chemical imbalance in their brain and that I was just one of those people that will be on them for the rest of my life.
What this isn't …
This isn’t me slating or being negative against Anti-Ds, they absolutely have their place and I believe have probably saved my life on more than 1 occasion. This is about my personal journey and decision to try life without them.
Life without them…
I still feel like I’m learning who I am a year on. This new me has emerged from the chemical haze, I am less stable, my brain and internal thoughts are never quiet and it drives me to distraction, however I feel like I have a bit more clarity as to who I am now.
Anti-Ds use to help me sleep! I miss taking that pill and 30 minutes later going to sleep and not waking until my alarm went off. I don’t miss the grogginess that I always felt the morning after. It felt like a permanent hang over. I can actually hold a conversation in the morning prior to 10:30am. I do miss uninterrupted sleep though…
Did I substitute them with anything …
Yes and no… part of me tried really hard not to, as the point was to discover who I was without any medical aides. I tried and still do all the natural and self-help stuff first. Mainly guided meditation and counselling.
I was initially advised by the Drs to take antihistamine to help with the sleep it didn’t work, so I stopped taking them as I didn’t see the point. I’ve dabbled on and off with CBD oil, again this has been trial and error and more out of desperation to help me sleep and combat the anxiety.
Would I use athem again…
Yes! If things got worse a lot worse, I would absolutely try them again. Used the right way under the right guidance there is no reason why you couldn’t be on them long term if they help.
In summary...
I am proud I have spent this time away from being so heavily medicated, it’s had its ups and downs but life just does. I had to try and I have, if I have to consider going back on them, then that’s fine too, but at least I know I can live a life without them.
If your on Anti-Ds or thinking about it... Just so I’ve covered myself here... I am in no way shape or form advocating coming off Anti-Ds this was a personal decision done with professional help and in the proper way. I did a ton of research, spoke to other people who had come off them, some successfully some not so.
Please please seek medical guidance about taking Anit-Ds and coming off them.
Big love N x
Comments