Mind (Mental Health Charity) are currently the charity partners to the English Football League (the EFL) so thought it would be a positive thing to write about Mental Health and my experience with football.
What Mind says about the EFL partnership:
"With over 21 million fans attending EFL matches each season (and 55 million watching on TV), this partnership is a brilliant opportunity for us to promote awareness and understanding of mental health amongst football fans, and to help more people living with mental health problems access the support they need.
Together with the EFL, we'll harness the power of football to raise awareness of mental health, improve the approach to mental health in sport and raise funds to deliver life changing national and local support."
A Year ago to get me out of my comfort zone and back into social situations following a long period of really bad mental health issues, my husband gently persuaded me to go and watch his beloved football team - Bristol City.
There was an ulterior motive...that was to get me into the stadium and for it to become familiar, as we had booked tickets to see Muse in concert in June, a goal I had set myself.
Little did I know when we booked those tickets and when I started going to the football stadium that it would soon become home, as I would be working from the office opposite. I get to see the glory of Ashton Gate Stadium every day from the office window.
That first football match I attended on 26th December 2018, I had a panic attack before even getting to the stadium. I couldn't eat, I felt sick, I was heavily chest breathing, I felt light headed and horrid. I knew I had to push myself though. It was so daunting and I could have easily just gone back home, but with encouragement from my husband, we agreed on little steps . The first thing was to at least get into the stadium grounds, even if I didn't make it any further, it was a start! Once there, we set another goal to get me into the concourse inside the stadium, and then into our seats pitch side, which I did eventually succeed in achieving.
Ashton Gate is a huge and intimidating space particularly for an anxiety sufferer. It gets so busy you have to make your way through thousands of fans. The crowdedness, the smell of food from the concourse was over powering (both anxiety triggers for me).
I don't remember much from the first half, only that I wanted it to be over, it was very much a grin and bear it exercise. The second half was a nicer experience, as I calmed slightly, therefore I began to enjoy the experience and the game.
From that point on, I knew I had survived and it was important to keep repeating the experience. As such, I've attended the ground several more times. I've been there on match days on my own to enjoy a game, but not just on match days! I've previously written about my experience of attending the Muse concert, however I have also recently attended for a works Christmas Lunch. I would chalk this up as a victory on my anxiety journey.
I wanted to take the time to acknowledge the football community which quite often comes under fire for historical stereo typical issues. I have only ever experienced comradery and a huge amount of passion at Ashton gate. Everyone has always been very friendly.
For 90 minutes or so your mind is distracted from normal life. As an over thinker whose brain goes a million miles an hour, that 90 minutes can be a nice distraction. Better when they win of course!!
So thank you BCFC for adopting me as one of your own, I now feel your pain and glory in equal measures. Thank you to my husband who always encourages me to step out of my comfort zone, thank you to those who I have dragged along to games.
If I could tell my very poorly anxious former self anything, it would be to always have hope, never give up, never run in those flight or fight moments. Keep striving to set little goals, as those little goals become big goals (Football pun completely intended 🤣).
Big love
N x 💚🌻
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