I know let's put something else into a box and label it...this one however I am so grateful that someone has already written about it and already labelled it, here it is from my perspective...Mental Health Hangover, aka Intovert Hangover (link to introvert hangover article below for reference)!!
I have seen 3 counselors in the last 2.5 years. I have always talked and worried about this (non-alcohol related) hangover I get after having done something mentally stretching.
I'll give you a proper example of this below in just a moment, but in brief just to explain....
Let's say I do something which for me is difficult and out of the ordinary. I have saved myself up, prepared mentally, done loads of self-care and managed to get through that thing on day 1. The issues normally start on day 2 which I have listed below:
I crash big time
My anxiety is through the roof
It feels like someone has removed my batteries
I have little or no interest in doing anything
I find any normal simple task a challenge
I struggle to talk
I get frustrated
Everything and everyone gets on my nerves
I'm exhausted
I'm emotional
I get an upset tummy
I just want to sleep
I can't sleep
My eyes are gritty
I ache
I found (and if I'm honest with myself... still find) it SO frustrating that now I'm able to achieve these things that I always get a MH Hangover or as it has already been labelled... an Introvert Hangover.
So we have made it through another Festive season. I find this time of year the most difficult, I know I'm not the only one. Even though my husband and I try to make it as stress free and Mentally easy for me, I still struggle. As I have been so mentally well I made commitments prior to the start of the festive season that upon reflection I may have overcommitted to.
The best example I can give you for a MH hangover is the weekend before Christmas. Our best friends live over 2 hours away so we only sadly see them a few times a year. This year we decided to rock up and surprise them and stay over for 1 night! I was so so excitied!!!
We travelled there, I was fine. We got there, I was fine. We decided to go to the cinema, never an easy exercise for me anyway but I sat in a seat next to a wall and furthest away from the aisle, but despite this I was still fine. Had dinner in the evening and chilled, I was fine. Come the night time I can feel the MH Hangover happening. I'm fighting it, fighting with myself. I try just letting it be and staying with those feelings. These are some of the thoughts bouncing round my head:
Why am I here
Why did I come
Why did I think I was strong enough to do all these things
This was too much to take on all in one weekend
This was too much to take on the weekend before Christmas
I've done too much
I've got a bad tummy
I've eaten too much
If I need to 'go go' to the toilet I'm not going to be able to flush the toilet as it'll wake everyone up
Wish I had my earphones so I can plug in to an audio book or meditation or something
I hate the silence
Wish the ground would just open up and swallow me whole
These were my physical symptoms:
I felt sick
I panickied
I could't breath
I couldn't move...I was scared
My chest hurt
I had a headache
I was uncontrollably shaking
I felt really really cold
And then really really hot
Needless to say I slept for about 2 hours at the most. I woke feeling horrendous. I cried at my husband because I felt like such a failure and I was so disappointed to feel the way I was feeling. We played a game that I call "let me tell you all my irrational thoughts". I then played the game with all the rational thoughts. My husband suggested ditching off Sundays commitments. I'm stubborn and felt that as I had got that far that I did not want to let the anxiety/MH Hangover win. We attended our commitments on the Sunday, I managed. I found it hard to string a sentence together, I was present but not present, if you know what I mean?.
Unfortunately though this MH Hangover had an impact on how I felt right up until boxing day where I decided for my own self-preservation to cancel my plans to travel to see my family. I was gutted, upset and I felt like I'd failed. In my head I tried to convince myself that by going it would distract me from the torrid of thoughts but equally the other part of me knew I had to be sensible. I sent the inevitable apology text messages to my family, I honestly couldn't face speaking on the phone in case I got emotional and it all spilt over. My family were great of course, and completely understood, I still felt like a crap daughter and sister though.
Once I was over the self-pity, I knew it was the right thing and I could finally relax, no pressures to go anywhere or do anything but I was exhausted.
So what have I learnt.... I'm still way to hard on myself. I need to remember that I normally have a MH Hangover after I have achieved something. I always survive and achieve that something, I should be proud of that. Planning is key, if I'm doing something mentally stretching on day 1, I'm probably going to need some down time on day 2.
More importantly I'm not like most people and can't have the crazy go go go lifestyle others have. Stop comparing myself to others.
I'm so thankful for my understanding husband and family. It takes alot of work and strength to do the 'normal' stuff still and potentially always will. I'll attend things with little issue but it's normally taken me alot of preparation to get to that place, knowing full well the detrimental effect it will have on me after.
Don't feel sorry for me... I've got this 💪 but be patient, not just with me but everybody. You never know the courage or bravery someone has had to face to appear 'normal' or do everyday things taken for granted.
The article that inspired this blog is below :
https://introvertdear.com/news/introvert-hangover-signs/?fbclid=IwAR0vanJ7XIw_Jf4SfjixKcOmGC0Tr5l5hr4DpsqJaNBKzP-nbf4uFZnnlms
Happy New Year to you all
Big love N x💚🌻
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