So here it is my Christmas/New year update.
What a difference a year makes! I'm SO grateful I have been able to celebrate Christmas and New years as I wanted and needed to.
It's been stripped back with minimal pressure and this has been due to measures I had to put in place to ensure I did not go through what I did last year.
Let's start with work! I know... boring! Work gives me a focus, purpose and routine. This year I choose to work over the festive period and I coped much better having the routine entwined around the important days.
Presents… Now I love sorting presents for people, however I heap loads of pressure on myself to do so and I also make myself bankrupt in the process, so I decided to keep things simple. I tried to give things that I know people would enjoy and be grateful for. We only gave gifts and cards to immediate family. Each contained at least one home made gift, one new gift and in some cases a pre-loved gift. A bit like ‘something old, something new’ etc!
I ate christmas dinner in my PJs!! Christmas morning seemed to disappear and I suddenly realised that with prepping for dinner, I hadn't actually got changed. It was my husband who made the point that it was just the two of us so who cared. He was so right! After enjoying christmas dinner, with all the masses of bath products I received, I enjoyed a long unwinding soak in the bath.
I made sure I did not overcommit myself and the things I did do, although caused me anxiety initially, I managed them and in the end I did enjoy them. I did comment on my FB page about boxing day and the frustration I felt at having a wobble and panic attack prior to going to a football game but the important thing to focus on is I did it despite the wobble.
I always feel so bad that I do not spend christmas day with our 3 sets of parents and I am sure like a lot of people I normally feel torn. However something I have come to realise and have had to reaffirm to myself, is that all our parents do have their respective husbands and wives and their own lives. It's not up to me alone to create christmas day for them. Actually it is ok for us to do what we want over the festive period, all our parents know we love them regardless.
So here I am...I’ve survived. Now I just have to keep getting up everyday and living life the best I can.
Shout out once again to my husband who has no choice but to ride my ridiculous Mental health rollercoaster with me. Please know I not only fight every day for myself, but you too.
Well done everyone on seeing through another festive period. Let's keep facing our demons and doing this together.
Big love N x
Comments