When I'm at my lowest I struggle to do the basics, housework, keep myself looking 'ok', seeing family and friends.
I recently went 4 months without a haircut, now I know hair cuts aren't the be all and end all. However hair cuts use to be part of my 'self care' routine. It made me feel better! I moved too far away for my mobile hair dresser, so knew I had to find a new one! The thought was scary and daunting. In fact when I found a new hairdressers, I sat outside having a panic attack, crying. A very close friend reminded me to breathe and how good I would feel after...she was right. I bucked up the courage and went in. I only managed a trim but I felt victorious that I had managed.
Self care is so important, it does make you feel better! But I have this problem, its my problem but I worry people think I'm selfish and lazy!
We've just bought out first house so money is a little tight, I worry the money I spend on haircuts for example would be better used towards the house.
Through a previous course of counselling, I explored some self care items that helped and bubble baths were one of them for me. When I am feeling really anxious, I have been known to avoid social occasions to have a bath! The guilt I feel knowing I have avoided a social situation makes me feel awful, I feel like I have let people down. However that bath is so important to my own self care.
I don't find it very easy to say to people "sorry I can't come tonight, I'm having a bath" or "sorry I can't come tonight I'm feeling really anxious". Which ever way I say it, it's embarrassing having to explain. I know I shouldn't care and actually should I have to justify myself?
Anyway the point here is that self care is important in recovery, regardless of what anyone thinks. Taking the time for you is ok. Find the things that make you feel good and make time for them. I found it really useful to write a list of the things that made me feel good that I no longer do. Start with the small things on that list, before you know you'll have built up a self care routine.
https://www.blurtitout.org/2017/04/18/9-no-nonsense-self-care-ideas/
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