I explored another fear...I went on a spa day. I'll be honest I've avoided long hair cuts or any beauty treatments for ages, as I don't like that trapped feeling of having someone tend to you and not being able to leave or get out when the anxiety peeks. I currently have a mobile hairdresser who comes to my house she trims my hair, leaves it wet and leaves as quickly as possible.
So the fact I even booked the spa day was a massive deal. I went with a very good friend who is always non judgemental and accepts my many quirks which always helps. I had 2 treatments one was 50 minutes long. I found it hard to relax at first and found myself having to concentrate on my breathing. I had to keep opening my eyes to keep myself grounded and present. I therefore don't think I got the full benefit of the treatment but I did enjoy it and nothing terrible happened so hopefully next time it'll be easier.
Anyway on to the reason I was writing this...during my second treatment yesterday the therapist came out to fetch me and when we were in the treatment room she explained she suffered with anxiety and had to keep her hands moving and busy. I literally wanted to high five her. I was so thrilled she was honest and explained to me why when she was talking to me she had to play with blue tac, in the same way you would use a fidget spinner. I explained I too suffered with anxiety and it felt so much better to have a therapist who I would feel comfortable asking them to stop, in the event it got too much. It's easier I guess because they would totally understand and would not judge.
I know that anxiety is not uncommon obviously, however no one talked about it or acknowledged it... So it's refreshing when someone volunteers the info first, it's almost a relief when someone else mentions it and you realise you're not alone. If you have anxiety you'll know how isolating and lonely it can be.
This is exactly why it's so important we talk about how we're feeling, you never know how the other person is feeling to.
Big love N x
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