It's been over a week since my last blog. I finished my course of antibiotics on Friday the day of my brothers wedding. I had worked hard on self-care, willing myself well for the big day. Which included steam baths, diffusers with essential oils, nebulisation, vitamin C, plenty of water and good old paracetamol. To be fair by Friday morning I hadn't had a whooping cough attack in 3 days and I was feeling marginally better.
The day of my brothers wedding was an amazing day despite not feeling 100%. The ceremony was simple and beautiful. The registrar who conducted the ceremony was the same lady who had done our wedding ceremony last year. The day progressed nicely into photos, laughter, food and dancing. By about 730pm I was feeling mega tired and could feel my throat constricting. I took it easy and avoided my usual hours on the dance floor. By 930pm I had had an attack, an indication that I was hugely tired. Stupidly I battled on, as my usual not wanting to let anyone down kicked in.
Upon returning home I was exhausted and had a further attack just as I was dropping off to sleep. I woke at 630am having another severe attack, which saw me stood outside in the cold desperately trying to breathe.
The attacks are leaving me exhausted. Apparently from what I have read online, kids bounce back quickly between the attacks but my whole torso is agony. I have a pain in the top of my back where my lungs are. My chest is tight, and I have a constant tickle in my throat.
Since the multiple attacks on Friday and Saturday morning I haven’t been able to regain the work I had done last week to make myself feel better. I had a nasty attack on Monday morning and 130am on Tuesday morning. I'm now at a point that twice now by just yawning has triggered an attack and I'm struggling to hold a conversation of more than a few words as my throat is catching. I'm now exhausted and fed up.
I also want to talk about the elephant in the room...I'm off work sick again. I say again because I had 2 weeks off when I was recovering from the 12 months of anxiety hell. You just can't do the job I do and only give 40% which is basically what I am function at right now. Someone once passed a comment that people who took time off work allowed themselves to 'wallow' rather than getting on with it. Uh huh that’s right....well clearly I held on to that frankly rubbish and absurd piece of advice (I’m rolling my eyes in sarcasm).
So all in all I'm feeling pretty rough, which is frustrating as hell. Taking time to heal has to be a priority. So if anyone wants me I''ll be propped up on multiple pillows, next to my diffuser watching back to back episodes of Game of Thrones.
Please send well wishes and prayers for a speedy recovery.
Big love Nx
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