I was asked if any positives had come out of my recent experience with anxiety and depression..........
Definitely Yes!!
Anti - Ds
Had this recent period of anxiety not happened, I think I would still be on anti-depressants. I would never have questioned or tried to swap and then eventually come off them altogether. I feel like I know who I am now or at least who I aspire to be. I am definitely more comfortable in my own skin. I 'feel' things again...I'm less numb and I have my emotions back.
Blogging
The blog in itself has been a positive experience verbalising feelings and thoughts and just getting them out there has been very cathartic. It's sometimes difficult for me to find answers when I am asked questions directly on the spot. Therefore the blog was an easy way to keep family and friends updated so I didn’t have to keep answering those difficult questions like "How was your eating thing on holiday?" or "How is counselling going?"
Conversation starter
It has lead me to have some amazing conversation with others, which in turn made me feel less alone. I have had messages from old school friends and distant family members. I have had contact with people who have said it is refreshing that someone they know is talking publicly about it. This to me is so positive, and certainly one of the main reasons I started the blog.
Family & Friends
Whilst some friends and family have kept their distance...this experience has bought me closer to others. Valued friends and family, I will always be grateful that you made the effort and weren't scared to ride the roller coaster with me. You didn’t stay away because I needed 'time' you didn’t stay away because you didn’t know what to say, you were just there. For that I want to say, you know who you are and thank you from the bottom of my heart. It has shown me those who I value the most.
Mindfulness
It's made me more mindful, I meditate or at least take time to deep breathe once a day and I still use aromatherapy oils. I have found the 'earthier' side of myself.
Aromatherapy
On the subject of aromatherapy oils, this leads me nicely onto the new project I am currently exploring. I enrolled on an online course to learn more and am currently working on this new project... News of which will be coming soon. I would never have explored this option prior to being poorly.
Dairy & Gluten
I gave up dairy and gluten! A massive change but something else I would never have done if it weren't for this experience. I still dabble with diary and gluten occasionally, normally as a last resort, however I have definitely felt the difference. My IBS is much better.
Love
I don’t want to embarrass him too much but as I have previously shared, one of the main good things, everything else aside, is that my husband and I are closer now than we have ever been.
Conclusion
There have absolutely been some positives. Don't get me wrong I am not sat here saying I want to be in this position again...if it never happens again I will be very grateful. However positives have come from it, it hasn't broken me completely. I still have a way to go and to a point anxiety and depression will always be a part of my life, as I guess they are a part of me … but they are now a part of the new me.
Staying on a positive note the next blog is about the question "Why have sunflowers become the symbol of your journey?"
Thanks for continuing to read and be with me on my journey.
Big love N x
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